Green Tea - The Green, The Brown, and The Unbrewed.

Controversial issues have surrounded Green Tea, officially known as Ocha by the Japanese, and the effects that it has on the human body. Generally considered good for health, green tea has a few dark...dark...green secrets. Many have reported that their skins have turned to a shade of olive green after a comsumption of more than 6 cups of green tea per hour.



"It's NOT the shade of green I wanted!"

"People don't treat me the same, now that I'm green. It's not easy being green."



Other dangers of drinking green tea include insomnia, due to the caffiene content, excessive urination, and getting abducted by aliens mistaking you for their own kind.

Brewing green tea should not be taken lightly. Using the wrong procedures when brewing green tea have been known to cause bad-tasting tea, scorn from peers, and death.

A 17 year-old boy, a self-admitting green tea addict, who studies in Taylors, has reported that a green tea sapling has established its roots in his large intestine. The boy had reportedly only brewed the green tea leaves for 8 seconds, ignoring the 10-second minimum rule set by the International Green Tea Association (IGTA). The leaves survived the 8 seconds of 85 degree celcius water bath before being accidently ingested by the boy. The boy went through a painful procedure to uproot the plant from his rectum and has been reported to be recovering.

On a seperate matter, tension is rising between the IGTA and the small, relatively unknown nation of Narnia. Narnia has reportedly banned the import of green tea leaves and executed a nation wide genocide and extermination of green tea, moments after the Emperor of Narnia declared green to be his least favourite colour. Delegates from both parties are carrying out negiotiations to avoid World War III. Although unofficial, IGTA seems to have strong ties with Japan as leaders from both sides have often been seen drinking green tea together.



Green tea - a blessing from above, or the harbringer of World War III?



This is the good stuff.
Cheers.