The week of Valentine.

I've had a total of 19 hours of sleep in the past 4 days. I'm feeling really down now. Tough week. Had a little fight with Shanti as well.

I've taken the trouble of adding a chatbox to see if internet traffic actually flows through this blog.

First off, I missed my target in econ. So far, it's supposed to be my strongest subject. 42/50 fell short of 45/50. That won't be good for my 99% scholarship score.

Then, I slaved through the night, till 3, to finish my account assignment by the deadline. Had it printed out and binded, then went to the loo at the start of accounts class. At the end of class, BOINK, I realized that my assignment was still in my file. I handed it up to Ms.Sydney, relieved. Ms.Sydney went berzerk. She marked it late and declared my marks 0. Zero. Nada. Zilch. That will definitely do wonders for the 99%.

Picked up the gerberas for Valentine's day tomorow.

Stayed up till 2 studying maths for the test the next day. Got a ride from Jonathan with the still alive gerberas sitting next to me. Ooh, realized that I was the only one who brought flowers on Valentine's day. Carmen threatened to tell the whole class unless I reveal the identity of the lucky girl (or guy). Sat for the wonderful maths exam. Messed up the test pretty badly. Left the last page blank. On the bright side, I gave Jia Sheen the flowers and wished a her happy Valentine's day.

On the dark side, things are a little more awkward now.

3 days of shooting in TV Pendidikan this week. Got home at 8, piss tired.

Come friday. Come 7 hours of sleep. Come maths results.

13/40

That's 33%.

That means my hopes for a 99% is crushed, snubbed, snipped off at the bud, roasted and the ashes scattered.

Next goal, 95%.

Until Ms.Doh told us all not to study for scholarships, but for wisdom and for the fun of it. Class appeared enlightened.

Now, I can go insane from trying to reach my scholarship target anyway, ignoring the hopeful Ms.Doh.

Or, I could study hard but ignore the pressure for a scholarship, and try to have fun on the way.

Had a little chat with 2 friends. Apparantly, I am a walking freak machine. I scare people with my intensity. Nice way to cap off the friday.

Alright, I guess I am gonna make decisions, about who I am and what matters.

No more thoughts bout scholarships, study hard.
"Tone down intensity" as Shanti and few more friends said in exact words.

Oh boy, Marvin's gonna poke fun at me being emo. This will be my first sulky post.

Forensics is crazy longshot now. 4 days to practice for 3 acting events. That's less than the 3 days I spent doing duet with surrej. It was. Bad.

Green tea gives me a little escape but fails to do the trick anymore.

On the bright side, I bought nice little lighters with LED lights, and I've finally found a song I've heard since I was 12 but never found out its name, "Heaven" by Bryan Adams.

It's hard to be optimistic now, my 99% dream is gone, my Forensics fantasy is flying off, and I feel like crap...about myself. Everything about me. It's starting to get lonely here.

The things that keep me going are Mission Hollywood and my love of music.

What do you know? A little Doh sure can open eyes.

Cheers...I guess.