The Week Was Farked And Stuff

1. Discuss the causes and effects of Gustave's absence from blogging. (10 marks)


Firstly, SAM has been sucking the life out of Gustave with questions like this and past year midterms. It should be noted that SAM is a Pre-U programme, not a person. The Gustave's class, L1, has been incredible and awesome at keeping itself out of any fun college activity, leaving Gustave to face a chorus of awkward silent stares when he announces events and prom committee news. There have even been reports of certain classes sending up to 7 participants to battle it out for personal spotlight time and RM 400.


L1 has a single student.
Going.
As a host.


Yay. Keep up the good work.


Wearing a red headband IS considered "wearing something red".

Yeeeeeeee-haaaw.


The Gustave's McDonald video has yet to commence. The result, of course, is a horde of fans standing outside Gustave's room looking upwards with their mouths open in sheer vanilla-beer anticipation.

In conclusion, Gustave simply has to make that video. Lives hang in the balance. The gaping-mouthed fans nearly drowned after a heavy downpour, ending a week of sunny, cancer-causing days.


The Gustave accidently came into contact with pariahnes while rushing down the stairs today. It should be noted that pariahnes cringed in fear and tried to squeeze past Gustave.


The hell freezing battle between L1 and J8 has been called to a temporary truce due to the fact that exams are looming overhead.

Looming.

Like a flock of crows perched upon a tree branch, puckering up their buttholes in anticipation of taking a shit on the head of a lucky someone.


L1 scored her first 2 pointer a week ago.

L1 sincerely thanks Mrs. Loo for...paying special attention to the class.


Gustave, being a nice guy, left a free McDonald's burger box in the class of J8 after a tense stand-off between the two classes.

Burger.

Box.

Empty.

Box.

:)


Mrs.Loo informed L1 of J8's annoyance caused by "The guy who was munching on the Big-Mac."


Score one for L1!

Score one for Big Mac.



Ultimately, SAM successfully lives up to its reputation of being "The worst of both worlds". SAMomites enjoy the privilege of carrying out the worst coursework ICPU has to offer, and the brain-draining tests of A-levels.



The possible effects of the Gustave's absence from blogging can be seen on the front page of The Star and on international news.


The Gustave has heeded the signs: The Earth-rocking consequences of not blogging.




On the brightside, the 13th of May was an epic day.

*Cue Mr.Brightside by The Killers*





1. Wee Kiat came back from the dead. Much to L1's delight, and Ms.Doh's horror.


2. Ricky spent 5 minutes attempting to painfully pluck a single pubic from his own crotch during accounting class.


3. Having successfully extracting the stubborn hair, Ricky proceeds to tastefully sprinkle it on the head of a sleeping Anthony.


4. It has been brought to the attention of Gustave, by Ricky, that the words "Ashley Quek" sounds like "Ass Crack" when uttered quickly. *


No offence to the Ashleys out there.

Or to the Queks.

Or to the Ashley Queks.


*It is not recommended that you try it at home or in the class of L1.




5. Ms. Sydney tells a joke and chuckles to herself, prompting the class to chuckle with her.


6. Quote Ms. Sydney, "Eh, why nobody laughing one?"


7. The class laughed.


8. Ha. Ha. Ha.


9. Presenting, the sexiest thing since Britney went bald, your SAM Idol hosts...


The Gustave and The Victoria!


10. SAM Idol audition could have been more entertaining with more pitch-deaf sods. A guy with guitar failed to get through, hence a confrontation with the judges after the auditions ensued.


11. Unfortunately for reality TV and TheNightWasDarkAndStuff, the guy with guitar did not flip out. No guitar were smashed on cranium.







This friday is Qirby's birthday.


Qirby as in spermatophobic, OCDing, Qirby.

Not Nintendo Qirby.








The Gustave, after successfully having a mental orgasm, will now proceed to having dinner and freshening up with a, hastily snagged from ECA, sample pack of charcoal facewash.

Victoria predicts that charcoal on face will hurt.

Gustave plans to prove her wrong.


Beware, he WILL scrub.


Argh! Scrub!