Gigabite.

If you are one of my loyal readers, you will know all about the mini-series that I create, their ridiculously short lifespan and their laughable numbers.

From the creator of My Life On Earth As A Dog, The Gustave's opinion, etc. comes a new series, Gigabite.

Yes, it comes from the idea I had as a 10 year old deciding to call myself gigabolt_7.

Gigabite
After extreme, intense, 10 SPS (Scratches per second), non-stop, ear-scratching on Spike the English Cocker Spaniel, Gustave has discovered that dogs can smile. Or at least, small furry dogs with a ear-scratching fetish.


It was hilarious but deeply disturbing.

Seriously now.

We used to perceive dogs as the happy go lucky, dumb, creatures that they seem to be. And then suddenly, HOLY SHIT, THE BUGGER SMILES?

Have you ever seen a fish smile?
How about a bird?
Or a rat?

Monkeys smile when they are in extreme fear.

Why the heck did my dog smile? What twisted thought was going on in that furry little head of his? Jeeeez.

Phew.

Maybe he was just happy. Ah well. We may never know.


Gustave has also got himself a role in an upcoming TV9 series. Gustave plays GUS, the nerd who is weak in English and is shy when interacting with members of the opposite sex.


Gustave's BBgun with a calibrated laser sight is broken. A part of the trigger snapped. Argh, tis' be a sad day, lad.


The chainsaw is a bad weapon to wield when facing hordes of the living dead.

Its heavier than alternative dismembering weapons such as a machete. You will wear yourself out.
It uses fuel, therefore having finite ammo.
Its noisy. Attracting the full wrath of mall full of zombie christmas shoppers is a bad idea. No matter how big your chainsaw makes you feel.
Its messy. Do you really intend to send chunks of infectious flesh and body fluids flying in your direction?

Zombies are created by the virus Solanum.
Solanum mutates the human brain into an organ that is not dependent on oxygen.

This information is brought to you by the Zombie survival guide.

!Remember!
Lesson #2 : Zombies don't feel fear, why should you?


Gustave has given up drinking plain water after discovering the wonder of Japanese green tea.
NOT Chinese "green" tea. Lu Cha. Lu my balls. Its BROWN. Fucking BROWN.

Colour blindness is a condition where a human being cannot perceive certain colours or perceives different colours as the same. Common colours include Green/Red and Green/Brown.

Hence, by that logic, the entire Chinese population until a few generations back is fucking colour blind.

Chinese "green" tea "dries" up the throat with its rennin or something. It makes your voice croaky. Plus 4 out of 5 dentists recommend Chinese "green" tea due to its acidic, and hence money-generating, property.

Stick to Japanese green tea.
...because anime is cool.

Cheers!