Fruitcake

+This post was originally posted on 20 Seconds Lapse.+




This is the Gustave, reporting in.


College life is fast, hectic, and exciting.

Kind of like sex.

It may even be over before you know it.


And like sex, profound words of wisdom and acts that defy the laws of physics may even occur amidst the mind-blowing pressure and sweat.


MIND-blowing.


"Maybe some people have genetically straight pubic hair."
-Qirby, 1311, 09-04-2008.


Yes. She did say that.


No. We were in Asia Cafe enjoying roti telur bawang and puble tea.


Yes. That is spelt right...after Qirby found a "pubic" hair on the cover of her bubble tea.


No. It was not my hair. Pubic or otherwise.


And yes. Qirby made the quote of the week after I tried to convince her that pubic hair is curly.






Sarah: "You want to have Sex on The Beach?"

Gustave: "...Which beach?"

*Sarah bursts out laughing*

Gustave: "Oh right! It's a drink. Heh. Right?"




...Sometimes, during college (or sex), we reflect on the past, possibly even our high school life...



"My friend got suspended for a few weeks. I think he started a Mexican Wave in class."
-Victoria, 27-03-2008


...sometimes on the way to class in the morning we hear Chinese radio hosts trying to be the next Zen Tao Guru thing...


(translated from chinese)
"A kindergarten teacher shows her students a painting of a black dot on a sheet of white paper. She asks them what they see. They reply :'A black dot!' The teacher then says :'Class, that's the case in life. People will always focus on the bad parts of your character and miss all the good in you. It's time to look at the bigger picture of life.'"


...that actually seemed very profound and touching, taking into the account that I had about 5 hours of sleep and tend to be very groggy in the morning. But it makes perfect sense and fits as a metaphor just as an XL ribbed condom fits on 5-year-old's fist.


Ungh.


Yeah.


...what?



Fruitcake!


What if the kindergarten teacher showed them a picture of a WHITE dot on a sheet of BLACK paper?


I highly doubt that the answer would have been "A black mass engulfing a circular white spot."


A white flaggeracking spot.


That's what.



Speaking of Chinese wisdom...

"In waking a tiger, use a long stick."
-Mao Tse-Tung


Hmm.



That is definitely a war tactic.



Or practical advice for adrenaline-junkies.



Or a metaphor for sex.




Yeah. Probably a metaphor for sex.




...Aganrmas are wrods or prhaess mdae by minixg up the lterets of ohter wrods or pshraes...



The eyes
They see

Mother-in-law
Woman Hitler

Debit card
Bad credit

Astronomer
Moon starer

Desperation
A rope ends it

Election results
Lies - Let's recount



I'm sure we Malaysians can relate to the last one.



...and to cheerily top off this cherry ridden cherry fruitcake with big juicy banana...


Conversation.
VoicesRantOn.




Rock on.

Rock hard.

This is the Gustave, over and out.