The Gustave : 101

This is brief survival guide on dealing with a Gustave. It was compiled after numerous reports of missing digits, severed appendages, and traumatised children individuals.

1. If The Gustave lets you read one of his notebooks, it means :



a) The Gustave like you.

b) He also trusts you.

c) Feel free to give him a scalp massage or gently scratch and tickle his hands and arms.




2. If the Gustave does NOT let you touch Iris, his guitar, it means :



a) He does NOT like you.

b) You should deeply reflect on your deeply flawed character.

c) You should repent and seek his forgiveness.




3. If the Gustave does NOT let you touch his stationery, it means :



a) The Gustave does NOT like you.

b) You have lost or stolen his stationery in the past.

c) You should start running in fear for your life before he decides on which stationery or nearby object to use as a weapon.

d) It is advisable to put at least 100 meters of physical distance between yourself and the Gustave while he is preoccupied.




4. If the Gustave shares his food or drinks with you, it means :



a) He likes you. Feel free to consume reasonable amounts of his food or drink.

-or-

b) He does NOT like you. In which case you should :

c) Not consume any of his food or drink because he has poisoned it.




5. If the Gustave gives you a notebook, it means :



a) The Gustave likes you.

b) You are on the list of people the Gustave would go to the depths of hell for, with nothing more than a double-barreled shotgun, a pair of magnums, a chainsaw, and an electric guitar (for those annoying rock-off encounters with Satan).

c) And maybe a flask of green tea.





*DISCLAIMER*
The Goodstuff Productions will not be held liable for any injury, death, or pregnancies caused by the use or misuse of the information above.



Rock on. Rock hard.