George Carlin Tribute: Religion is Bullshit, and more.

It has been about a week since the most influencing comedian of our time died.

George Carlin.


After noticing that most people I meet know squat about the great man, I have taken it upon myself to enlighten the world (or whoever who lingers around when the night is dark and stuff) about his style of comedy.



Ladies and gentlemen, George Carlin.

Religion is Bullshit

Don't break out the pitch-forks and torces just yet!


"Thou shalt keep thy religion to thyself."
-George Carlin.


George Carlin has something to say about planet Earth's favourite country!

Fat, Dumb, Americans.

Mm-mmm.

Gotta love them sauteed raccoons' assholes!







George Carlin swears a lot, eh?

A lot.

Ya' like it?

Here's more.

Seven Words

"Shit, piss, fuck, cunt, cocksucker, motherfucker, tits."





George Carlin is a legend who pushed the boundaries for comedians and mankind.

His career spanned over 5 decades.

This is in no way an adequate tribute to him.

However, Gustave always does his best to enlighten you about the things they don't teach you in schools.


Or youth camps.


Or SWAT.





Alrighty.

When you stop laughing, it's about time to come back to reality.

And in...


3...


2...


1...

George Carlin is Dead.

Rock on. Rock hard.

The world probably sucks a little bit more without you.




"Fuck hope."

Cheers, George!

George Carlin is Dead.

One of the Greatest Comedians in the history of Mankind has just died on the 23rd June 2008.

I say died because George Carlin would have said "Fuck being politically correct."

One of his best performances was "The 7 words you cannot say on TV."

He has inspired me with his hard, cold, satirical view of life.


A known atheist, pushing the envelope and battling against censorship, George Carlin has paved the way for comedians and mankind.


And me.


I feel that I cannot do justice to this legend with a simple blog entry.

To those who don't know who George Carlin was, go to Youtube and look him up.



George Carlin, you are a blacklight in this dark world we live in.

The world is probably 10 times suckier than it was before you died.



Take it easy on God!

Cheers!

In Kelantan, Lipstick and High Heels cause Rape.

Only in cold places, can strawberries grow.

Only in the dark, can we see the stars.

Only in the Fires of Mordor, can the ring be destroyed.




Only in Kelantan, can lipstick and high heels cause rape.







Ladies and gentlemen, Kelantan, once again, never fails to amuse Gustave.

First it was the dress code which states that states that both Muslim and non-Muslim women have to wear "decent outfits which do not expose the naval, show a lot of cleavage, or emphasises the buttocks.


Define "a lot of cleavage".


For some lactose-loving individuals, there can never be too much cleavage.


What if a woman was blessed with the cup size of Kiera Knightley?


I believe that a woman has every right to showcase her junk in the trunk proudly for the benefit of mankind.


If one finds the sight disturbing, one can always look away.

Or stab one's eyes out with a disposable fork.





Of course, our mummy-loving state always justifies throwing freedom and human rights out the window like a cheap, re-used condom.


Peculiar metaphor, eh?


To prevent rape.

RAPE!

Holy shitake mushrooms! Of course! It's so obvious!



To heck with human rights!

After all, Guantanamo Bay was justified because it protects the wellbeing of the people.

Ok, so maybe those at Guantanamo Bay have it little rougher because their eyes, ears, and mouths are covered up...as opposed to only boobs, butt, and legs.



To heck with men, hormones, and the built-in reproductive drive of humans!



If one dresses up pretty, one is obviously begging to be violated and penetrated in every orifice imaginable! (Including, but not limited to, the ears.)





So, boys and girls, once upon a time...

...in a land far away with no legally visible navels and minimal cleavage...

...there was a man named Shefie Ismail...


"Eh, eh, eh! I is have great idea after 6 shots of terrapin blood! Let's ban Lipstick and High Heels in order to prevent rape!"




That's right boys and girls! Who knows what rape means?


Johnny?


:)





According to the infallible logic of a Shefie Ismail, lipstick and high heels "which make a tapping sound" increases the occurance of females being rape.

No comment was made about males with lipstick or high heels getting raped.



After many minutes of pondering while sitting on a ceremic structure which stimulates defecation and increases blood flow to the brain, Gustave Oon comes up with several explanations to back up Chevy Is Mail.

A letter is also mail.




Lipstick and High Heels cause rape because:



1. Colours can confuse and arouse.

Several shades and colours of lipstick may be confuse and arouse(two important elements in the process of seduction) males.

The shade of the lipstick applied to the lip of a female may coincidently resemble the same colour of a female reproductive organ known as the vagina.

The sight of a pair of "erotic lips" wondering around in public may be confusing and arousing to males. This may be due to the lack of sex education and exposure of Malaysians.

The confused and aroused male may have the urge to insert his reproductive organ into the female's reproductive organ with or without the purpose of reproduction

The male may then proceed to claim his prey.

This process is known as "rape".




2. It comes in fruity flavours.


The fruity flavours that lipstick comes in may be a motivating factor. A male subject may be especially turned on by a certain fragrance such as watermelon, which is a known aphrodisiac.

Some men have even been known to enjoy the scent of banana on their genitals.

They will then proceed to transfer the banana-flavoured lipstick from the lips of a female onto their gonads. Sometimes, rape is necessary.


You know what they say:

A horny man is an angry man.

Therefore, they cannot really be blamed for their actions.








3. Usage of sound to stimulate


Various sounds have been known to stimulate sexual desire in humans.


Examples include:


Rain

Panting

Ocean waves

Jazz music

The sound of others having intercourse

The sound of two wet steaks slapping together

Whitney Houston

Britney Spears

Fergie

Imogen Heap






Apparantly, the clicking sound made by high heels must be on the list too, because it's alright to wear high heels "with rubber soles" in Kelantan. These do not produce a clicking sound during walks.

Humans are known to be rhythmic beings, capable of accurately following a beat (during a football match cheer, for example) up to 64 fps (frames per second).

When the steady walking of a female in high heels produces a rhythmic clicking sound, males may tune in to the rhythm and perceive a type of connection.

This may lead to unwanted sexual advances.

Hence, rape.






But why only in Kelantan?

The Kelantanese generally have a reputation for being repressive and not sexually open. This may lead to sexual unawareness, and hence, confusion about the urges they feel.





And that, ladies and gentlemen, is how lipstick and high heels cause rape in Kelantan.


So, ladies, the next time you think about or wearing high heels or putting on lipstick, ask yourselves the following questions:



"Do I walk in a clickingly explicit manner?"


"Do the colours match?"


"Is Gustave really addicted to green tea?"




Happy 3000, TheNightWasDarkAndStuff.

Cheers!


Make Gustave feel warm and fuzzy!
Nang this post!

The Big 3000

Gustave's World Domination Forces grow close to being 10 times greater than the number of Spartans, and with 6 times more cock and ball jokes and references.

If YOU are the 3000th to 3003rd visitor.

CONGRATULATIONS!

Feel free to give yourself a hug.

Or Gustave a hug.

Or maybe a can of Anything or Whatever.

No.

Gustave did NOT just make that up.

No.

You cannot find it on the planet Uranus.

It's sold in 7-11's.

Yes.

No.

Gustave's fingers are not crossed.

Yes.

And Gustave got a not-so-random Cola and Ice Lemon Tea flavour.

It's kinda like Bertie Bott's every flavoured beans or pokemon cards.

The type sold in the wizarding world, of course!

The ones you have in your pitiful muggle world is limited to about 30 flavours.

Plus it doesn't include earwax or cardboard.

Yes. Dumbledore had an earwax flavoured one.

Yes. Everyone knows dumbledore is gay.

GH3YN3SS!!1

No. Gustave does not in any way imply that he is a wizard when he said "The ones you have in your pitiful muggle world..."

Yes. The expression "Stick your wand up where the sun doesn't shine" has been overused.



No. Gustave has no idea how a post about reaching 3000 visits has to do with wizards.



In other news,

A public warning has been issued regarding the volatility of The Doh. The public is advised to stay indoors and spend more time studying maths instead of blogging during free time.

L1 has reportedly achieved double digits of 11 points in what is being epic-ly known as The Taylor's Legal Showdown! J8 is hot on their heels and applying pressure.





Rock on. Rock hard!

Experiencing Sex Education (without Cheesy Wedges)

CY presented his ESL tutorial.


"Sex education should be made compulsory."


Or something along those lines.


There was even something mentioned about allocating an entire topic in the syllabus to "Masturbation Techniques".



SK: Excuse me! I am a VEEEERY naive student. I do not know what is masturbation! Can you please explain the meaning seeing as you did not elaborate just now?


L1: LOLOLOLOL!!1


CY: ...hahaahah...Ms.Rajani...eh...how leh?



......



*The presentation ends*



SK: No! Really! I never learned about it properly. When I was in form 3 and teacher got to the topic about sex, everyone kept saying "YERRRRR! SPERM ERR! YERRRRRR!" and kept laughing!






Wang.


Not 'wang' as in money.


Wang.





Just when sex for the day seems to be over, Ms. Sydney drags us to LT2 for Sex Education.




I will skip ahead to the climax.




Sex Guy: You cannot get pregnant if you have sex standing up. True or false?

Jia Sheen: Um...true?




Sex Guy: How about you sir, you look very smart and mature.



CY: Um...


L1: BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAHAHAHAHHA!


CY: True...yeah.



Sex Guy: Standing...you can do the Doggy...or with one leg up...it doesn't matter, most guys like to cum deep.



SAMomites: LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL!!1




In other news, Ms. Doh is getting more and more volatile by the day. Seriously. It's always a life-changing experience when I sit in the front row.

I am thankful that I am alive after Maths everytime.


...which is good.



Hmm.


Mebbe if she sat in for CY's ESL sex education tutorial she would not be so stressed out and would have had a laugh or two...

Or three.

Or seventeen.



Which is also the number of years of Victoria's existence that we celebrated today at a relatively nearby KFC.


And by relative, I mean compared to Penang.





Today, Gustave, Victoria and friends learned some very important things:


1. Kim bakes and creates the greatest masterpieces of sugar and chocolate in the Milky Way galaxy.


2. Ice-cream melts if you carry it around in the sun.


3. Never go to KFC before 11 a.m because of the new, innovatively idiotic breakfast system
whereby the staff is forbidden from selling anything other than what is on the pathetic breakfast menu.


Including Cheesy Wedges.



We were ______________________this_________________________ close from leaving.



Which is actually pretty far away.




Happy Belated Birthday, Victoria.

Hope you wished for Team Fortress 2 when you blew out the imaginary flames on the candles. (Argh. Of all the flogging days NOT to bring a lighter...)




Cheers!

Gustave 1 SAM 58

Hah! Legals CPT draft is DONE!

Take that, SAM!

Wooooot! It's Gustave 1, SAM ...58.

Oh.

Wait... I've got to study for Taylor's Legal Showdown or risk breaking L1's...

...KILLING SPREE!!!

Plus, my ESL tutorial!

Oh noes! Due to lack of sleep and dizziness I have blogged in first-person!

Argh.

I guess the SAM never ends...



...Yeeeeeee-haw! Time for a much deserved shower and cup of steaming green tea!






"You are in SAM, sleeping is a privilege."
-Gustave



CHEERS!

Nang, Dang, or Wang: A Guide to Fame.

As most of you can guess, Gustave has recently registered with NuffNang.

Within 48 hours, Gustave has an epiphany.


What is an epiphany?

Watch The Simpson's Movie.

"Dun...dun...dun...spiderpig...spiderpig..."



Gustave noticed that there are basically 3 ways to become famous on NuffNang:


1. Nang: By posting really informative or interesting posts, other bloggers Nang you to the top.


2. Dang: By Danging a popular post, your username will appear on the "Users who danged" list. This then sparks a reaction of anger and curiousity by other bloggers, who then check out your blog to flame it.

3. Wang: By posting about masturbation related topics. For example, Holly Jean and her MSN Mystery Man, who has great abs btw. Or Robin and the Masturbating Champion.



Gustave recommends the first and third methods.

The Way of the Nang is honourable and healthy.

The Way of the Wang may not be so honourable, but medical research has shown that it is in fact healthy and will not cause blindness.




Proof:

Nang-ers: Kenny Sia

Wang-ers: Robin, Holly Jean, afred85...the list goes on.




Step-by-step guide:

Nang:

1. Be sincere

2. Be dedicated

3. Be creative

4. Avoid music players which autoplay MCR's latest slit-my-wrist-with-a-rusty-butterfly-knife records.

5. Blog under the influence of Green Tea.







Dang:

1. Be an anus.








Wang:

1. Wait till puberty.

2. Buy a webcam or video recording tool.

3. Prepare hand lotion or flavoured lubricant if needed. (They come in fruity flavours.)

4. Select a suitable or preferred technique. (Example: The Rocket, The Eagle's Claw, The JoyStick 360, The JackHammer...etc)

5. Remember to cut your fingernails. (Unless you plan to execute The Eagle's Claw, of course)

6. Lock the doors and crank up the music. (Recommended: Gwen Stefani's Hollaback Girl, I like big butts, by Sir Mixalot or any 13 remixed versions of Britney spear's latest song... Once again, MCR not recommended.)





Gustave is now torn between The Way of the Nang and The Way of the Wang.


Gustave hopes this guide has been useful and wishes you luck in Nang/Dang/Wang-ing your way to fame and fortune.




Disclaimer: Gustave Oon will not in any way be responsible for injuries, pregnancies, or deaths resulting from the use or misuse of this guide. Read at your own risk.



Make Gustave feel all warm and fuzzy!

Nang this post!



Rock on. Rock hard!

Gustave am saddest.

Gustave is now officially semi-emo.


Why?


Well, because his hair isn't quite long enough in the front.


And because of a little thing called LEGALS CPT.


1500 words.



To those thinking about joining SAM.


Step 1: Pull head out of butt.


Step 2: Shampoo and scrub thoroughly.


Step 3: Visit TheNightWasDarkAndStuff with a cup of steaming hot green tea.


Step 4: The green tea and exposure to Gustave's Golden Realm of Insanity will make you consider joining ICPU or A-Levels instead.


Step 5: Show your gratitude to Gustave for saving you from a year of Semi-Heck. (Heck is like half of Hell, and then there's Semi...so...um...go figure.)


Step 6: Visit TheNightWasDarkAndStuff hourly.


Step 7: Resist the urge to bat Gustave over the head with a raw boneless flab of chicken meat.






Anyhoo.


"Are judges more likely to reach fair outcomes than juries?"


Only one way to find out.

Bring it on. SAM.

Oh dear. Self-potraits and solo camwhoring.

Give this guy 5 hours of Team Fortress 2 Therapy!


If you haven't played or purchased Team Fortress 2.

You have not experienced life.

You sad, sad person.

Hahahaha! Have fun living in *Hyuk! Hyuk! Snort! Pffffffft*...





...reality.

LOL!!1 PfwNZ0rZ!!1





In case you were wondering, Hyuk Hyuk is a type of geek laugh.

And now you know.


Ooh, SAM Idol pictures are up on facebook.

Cheers!

Me and Anthony

Hello, boys and girls!

Someone special left KL for Sarawak today.

I miss him already.

And I don't know if he's ever coming back.



Alright, kids! This is a story about Me and Anthony.

I have a friend named Anthony.

This is Anthony.



He loves himself very, very much. :)

That's right, kids! We should all love ourselves!







This is me and Anthony working.
Wee Kiat is helping out too.



Awww. Look how hard we are...







...working.





This is me and Anthony having fun.


Look at how much fun we are having.

XD

Hehehe. Ricky looks good in green.
Hey, are those twins I see?







Anthony got something stuck between the big red letter 'Y'.


Ouch. That looks painful.

:(

I hope you learned something from this, kids.

No sticking appendages into foreign objects!
No matter how inviting it may seem.













After a long day, Anthony is tired and takes a nap.



Good night, Anthony.

:)









Alright, boys and girls. Everyone say good night to Anthony!

Good Night...!









And remember, kids! Tune in next time for another story!



That's right, boys and girls! It's about SAM Idol!







Till we meet again,




(Two ding-dongs performing on stage for SAM Idol.)


Cheers!

It rained again.

Yes it did.


Ms. Sydney even made a comment involving CY and how he "sounds like thunder."


No. I will not elaborate further.


No.


He did not fart.


I think.




Anyhoo. Ms. Sydney blocked access to the internet during accounting period in Computer Lab 2 today.


GEE.

I WONDER WHY.

MY, MY, MY.

*AheeeeeeGGGgggGGGggeeeeem*


*Angles head to the right and jerks it repeatedly while looking at the comment box.*


Boink.



...oops.

Um...hi Ms. Sydney! :)



More importantly...


L1 is on a 2-day flawless spree!

RAWRRRRRRRRRR!

Good job, Legal Ones!

...if you are reading this...more studying, less surfing!



`_'

(Angree Phace)




Hung out with Ser Lyn, Shain and the gang after classes.

Joined by Vict and Kim.

Today, I learned something.


The combined forces mentioned laughs.

Really.

REALLY.

Loud.


Like..."Omg, stupid freaks, we're trying to eat in Asia Cafe. Shhhh..." Loud.

Next time on TheNightWasDarkAndStuff:

Gustave Discovers Shampoo!

Rock On. Rock Hard!

It rained today.

Yes.


I was very excited.


Yes.


I still am.


Yes.


I screamed repeatedly halfway through.


Yes.


There was a reaction. The teacher next door walked in and gently requested that the volume be turned down.


No.


I did not burst into tears.


And, yes.


That was me.


I just farted.





L1 scored her first flawless 2 pointer ever, today!

Yeeeeee-haw!

L4 and J8 scored 2 points in round one and 1 point in round two.

This means everyone is tied at 3 points each.



RAWRRRRRRR!!!



*phew*


This is almost as fun as Team Fortress 2.





In other news.

Victoria Ong alleges that someone called someone else a 'retard'.

That's pronounced: "Rare-tard." without emphasising the 're'.


"That is just pure...platinum!"









Before the euphoria wears off, and coursework pressure sets in, Gustave offers you some green tea for your ears.


Not boiling though.


Lukewarm.


Enjoy.

And yes.


It is a good day.


It rained today.



*cue music*

"Walking alone in the rain.
Waiting for a stranger to say 'hi'.
Hiding the tears and the pain.
Never knowing when to say goodbye..."


:)


Cheers!

Taylor's Legal Showdown: Revamped

17-06-2008
Taylor's SAM Legal Showdown, overseen by Mrs. Wendy Loo, is back and badder than before!


Here are the rules:

1. Everyone in the class will be called to rise and answer a question based on the previous lesson, one by one.

2. Anyone may call for assistance in the form of up to 3 clues, supplied by classmates.

3. Should even a single student fail to answer a question, the class will be awarded no points for the session.

4. Should even a single clue be offered, the class will receive 1 mark for the session, assuming all questions are answered correctly.

5. Should all questions be answered correctly and no clues be necessary, the class will be awarded 2 points.

6. Notes or learning material may not be read or referred to by anyone at anytime during a session, except, of course, Mrs Loo.

7. Contestants are required to have fun and participate in good spirit.



Yee-haw!






Gustave almost lost a point for L1 today.

N00B!!1




Note to self:


Phrase to remember for the day- "Judicial Pronouncement".

Not 'Precedent'.






Everyone is welcomed to post in the chatbox regarding the Legal Showdown.

But remember, use your real name, and do NOT flame or insult anyone.


C'mon people! It's supposed to be fun! :)




Cheers to Mrs. Wendy Loo for... convincing us to study by awakening our competitive spirit.

I guess kiasu-ness is a powerful renewable energy source after all!

:P



Rock on. Rock hard!

1330 in Accounting.

Alright, listen.

Listen carefully.

I do not know how much time I have before Sydney patrols again.

I am at Taylor's computer Lab 5, time is 1330, under the watchful eyes of The Sydney.



I am scared.



Things are falling apart. I have to get the news out before something happens to me by...sheer chance... or...accident.



Ms.Doh actually messed up in class today in Standard Normal Distribution.

CY, Yuen Chee, Michelle, SQ and I did an under-prepared forum practice thing.



Our topic was "Sex for sale, should prostitution be legalized?"


It involved pimps, hos, and penguins.


Yes.


Penguins and sex come hand in hand.


On TheNightWasDarkAndStuff.


Or...flipper in fapper.


Yeah.



SHHH.

...Sydney just said something about double entry...

..."I am not a comedian, don't simply laugh, I don't see anything funny. I am carrying out a lecture now, please take everything seriously..."



It's getting waaaay too hot.

Like.

12 noon in a tuxedo after asam laksa.



This is Gustave.

Over and ou...*CRrrrRRraaAAAcCcKkkkSsssshhhhh...*

3,2,1... Epic Failure!

And it is on!

Gustave will be on music for the next few months to deal with stress.

He feels bad for a lot of stuff that he's done.

Really bad.

Like "Oh shit! National service starts tomorrow and I haven't sent in the deferment forms yet?!" bad.




In other news, a SAM Idol and Ten report will be delivered shortly.

Ramblings, epic accounts, pictures, and even videos of 2 Ding-dongs trying to woo the crowd with their phenomenal heart-beat altering singing!



Till then, Gustave offers the following as an appetizer, enjoy:







Oh c'mon!

Like you've never experienced that before.


That's what Gustave's been getting a LOT in the past few weeks.

A Berzonkers-donkey-load LOT.

Gee, at least now we know that listening to that little voice when you feel loopy at 2 a.m. IS a bad idea.



Seriously!

It always seems like an AWESOME, flawless idea on hindsight, right?


Sorta like...

"Oh my Ghaaa-duh! Why didn't I think of it before?!"



Cheers!

When It Rains at 1 a.m.

The night was dark and rainy.

It began on the 14th of February, 2006.

It continued on the 10th of June, 2008, 1 a.m.

It concluded on the 10th of June, 2008, 3.06 a.m.




Ladies and gentlemen, when it rained at 1 a.m, Gustave Oon King Chuan took a leap of faith and fell flat on his ass...in style.

"But it's just the price I pay.
Destiny is calling me.
Open up my eager eyes,
Coz I'm Mr. Brightside!"

-The Killers, Mr.Brightside.







Or

"Juliet, the dice was loaded from the start.
And I bet, and you exploded into my heart.
And I forget, I forget...the movie song.
When you gonna realise, it was just that the time was wrong, Juliet?"

-Dire Straits, Romeo and Juliet








Or








"This is how it ends.
We believed every lie and said we'll be friends.
How long will it last?
Before we scratch all the scripts and rework the past?"

-The Hush Sound, Hourglass

I guess only time will tell.


Although a heart bled,
No tears were shed.

:)

Onward. Starbound.

Music at Day's end.

"Music washes away from the soul the dust of everyday life."
-Unknown, found on a cool notebook cover.


Gustave does not want to wake up.

He wants to dream on.



Gustave has gotten all woozy headed past midnight lately.


Somehow.

Something.

or Someone.

Has been inspiring him to write songs once again.



The dream must live on.

Anyone with an hour or so to spare, and a dream, is more than welcomed to meet up with Gustave to exchange ideas and write songs.


Gustave has a classical guitar and a keyboard at home.


You.

Yes, you.

No. NO! Not you.

YOU.

(Blatant VI prefect reference)

Yes.

You.

Yooou.

Tch.

No.

Yes.

NO!

You la, macha!



The one with the tapping foot.

And you, the one with choruses bouncing around in your head.

Don't look around! You, the verse generating machine.

Gustave loves choruses but cannot really find verses to complete his songs.




So, drop a message on the comments or contact Gustave at:

017-LOLEvenstalkershaveGustave'snumber




The Last Duet on Earth



"In the future, music will be the only thing that matters anymore."
-Graham Annable, creator of Grickle




"People can't give you freedom, they can only stop you from exercising that freedom."
-Hasan




"I swear. I need a creative outlet so badly I can almost feel music notes blasting out from my butt. Oh wait. That's not music. Heh."
-Gustave

She's back. Gustave Gems.

Holy shitake mushrooms.

She's back.

:)




The Gardens, MidValley, 3rd floor.

There be a place which is green in colour.

Gustave's favourite green.

It

Serves

Green Tea

in

Various Forms.

Hey, that kinda looks like a pine tree.

Anyhoo.

She's back.

Back. BACK. BACK, BABY!

Break out the songwriting books and glitter pens!




Want a taste of how Gustave is feeling?

The Story of Khale

The Story of Khale II

Is your jaw hanging open?

Are you drooling?

Have you wet yourself yet?



NO?!




Anyone who did not enjoy the above flashes, probably has deep-rooted childhood issues.


Possibly the fact that they never had the privilege of suckling on their mother titties at infancy.





Enjoy.

Mastermind

Mastermind 2

Mastermind 3

Mastermind, The Game

Till we meet awkwardly in Borders or a Green Tea Haven one day.


Rock on. Rock hard.




SHE'S EFFING BACK! :)

Dreams at 69 km/h

Gustave does not feel very Gustave-ish at the moment. He will now blog in first person.

Dya ever get that feeling. Like after you wake up from a dream. That brief moment when you can almost taste the skittles raining down on you.

Well, not specifically.

But that moment right after you are zoning back into reality, thinking, hoping that the dream be real.

And then, knowing better, wishing that the dream had never ended.

With my two week dream coming to an end, I too, am getting that feeling.

With the day of someone special returning drawing closer, my two weeks has felt like a dream.

Hopes of how everything would play out hollywood worthy.

Yeah. Kinda happens when you spend some time in a boy school and learn about romance from some tv-series in which teenagers are played by men and women in their mid-20s.

That hasn't worked out very well for me.

Hmm.

I wonder what the plural form of 'series' is.

No.

I am not high.

But my mind did wonder upon something after TF2 marathons.

Alright, let's see where your logic leads you.

Here we go:

Fungus.

Fungi.

Octopus.

Octopi.

Jesus

_____

I am not even gonna mention the word 'anus'.

Oops.

Kinda miss Jaya K now.

Anyhoo. More than one of my dreams kinda crashed into reality at 69 km/h.

I like the number 69.

And guess what.

Reality had her backseat seatbelt on.

Dream didn't.

And now Gustave is feeling that feeling.

On top of having diarrhoea.

After eating red dragon-fruit and nasi-lemak.

Shanti kinda gave me a reality check.

So did uncle BK.

And so did the Heavy Weapons Guy from TF2.

I am telling you, Vict, GET TEAM FORTRESS 2.

It's the best way to spend RM85.

Which is like...10 McValue Meals, as Calvin pointed out.

The Big Mac Chant NuffNang thing is not looking good.

People are obviously abusing votes. Things do not look good for Mission: Hollywood.

Hey, would'ya look at that, I used two sentences before hitting enter.

Anyhoo.

Gustave Oon has 58 votes.

Kenny Sia has 82 votes.

Combined, they have 140 votes.

Videos involving college chicks falling for college guys who can do the Big Mac Chant, Indian finger fries, and a husband cheating on his wife with a Big Mac in a non-explicit way have around.

Oh, I don't know.

1800 votes.

What the Fortress?!

One video even got 62 votes from 11.30 to 12.30.

That's 1 hour.

That's 60 minutes.

Hmm.

One minute...roughly the time needed to reconnect to the internet and sign up for a new NuffNang account to vote for your own video, wouldn't you say?

Anyhoo.

You know that feeling you get when you sit for an hour, watching ants search for and carry blackheads off your bedroom mirror?

Yeah.

Heh.

What?

Oh.

OH.

Um.

Yeah!

Me neither! Haha!

Just checking.

Heh.

Hey! Didja know that if you feed ants Pepsi Blue or Mirinda Orange their butts change colour?

Heh...uh...yeah.

No! Of course not!

Yeah, I wonder how someone would've found out too.

Anyhoo.

I've gotten better at doing stuff with a butterfly knife.

No.

Not that sort of stuff.

Anyhoo.

I like dreams.

Dont't like waking up from them though.

Maybe some dreams don't have to evaporate in sunlight.

Or fly through the tempered glass windshield of a moving vehicle.

Maybe some dreams.

Are just a glimpse of what is possible if you want it bad enough.

But then again.

Maybe some dreams are reserved for the privacy of your bedroom with your bolster.

Mmm.

Rhona Mitra.

I'll save the Heavy Weapons Guy wisdom for another day.

All you have to know is that he is:

Very Big.

Very mean-looking.

Very russian.

And has a Very Big Gun.

The word 'very' seems weird now.

Maybe it's the capital 'V'.

Till then. Remember to jot down your dreams.

Before they evaporate and all you can remember is that it took place in your primary school and involved a kid you met in BRATS camp and that video arcade you went to with a friend during SPM study groups.

And really bad tasting peppermint chocolate.

"Green Tea is like diluted Elixir of Life."

Onward. Starbound.