Nang, Dang, or Wang: A Guide to Fame.

As most of you can guess, Gustave has recently registered with NuffNang.

Within 48 hours, Gustave has an epiphany.


What is an epiphany?

Watch The Simpson's Movie.

"Dun...dun...dun...spiderpig...spiderpig..."



Gustave noticed that there are basically 3 ways to become famous on NuffNang:


1. Nang: By posting really informative or interesting posts, other bloggers Nang you to the top.


2. Dang: By Danging a popular post, your username will appear on the "Users who danged" list. This then sparks a reaction of anger and curiousity by other bloggers, who then check out your blog to flame it.

3. Wang: By posting about masturbation related topics. For example, Holly Jean and her MSN Mystery Man, who has great abs btw. Or Robin and the Masturbating Champion.



Gustave recommends the first and third methods.

The Way of the Nang is honourable and healthy.

The Way of the Wang may not be so honourable, but medical research has shown that it is in fact healthy and will not cause blindness.




Proof:

Nang-ers: Kenny Sia

Wang-ers: Robin, Holly Jean, afred85...the list goes on.




Step-by-step guide:

Nang:

1. Be sincere

2. Be dedicated

3. Be creative

4. Avoid music players which autoplay MCR's latest slit-my-wrist-with-a-rusty-butterfly-knife records.

5. Blog under the influence of Green Tea.







Dang:

1. Be an anus.








Wang:

1. Wait till puberty.

2. Buy a webcam or video recording tool.

3. Prepare hand lotion or flavoured lubricant if needed. (They come in fruity flavours.)

4. Select a suitable or preferred technique. (Example: The Rocket, The Eagle's Claw, The JoyStick 360, The JackHammer...etc)

5. Remember to cut your fingernails. (Unless you plan to execute The Eagle's Claw, of course)

6. Lock the doors and crank up the music. (Recommended: Gwen Stefani's Hollaback Girl, I like big butts, by Sir Mixalot or any 13 remixed versions of Britney spear's latest song... Once again, MCR not recommended.)





Gustave is now torn between The Way of the Nang and The Way of the Wang.


Gustave hopes this guide has been useful and wishes you luck in Nang/Dang/Wang-ing your way to fame and fortune.




Disclaimer: Gustave Oon will not in any way be responsible for injuries, pregnancies, or deaths resulting from the use or misuse of this guide. Read at your own risk.



Make Gustave feel all warm and fuzzy!

Nang this post!



Rock on. Rock hard!