1st May. Pico Day. On Newgrounds.com
Honouring everyone's favourite flash animated dual uzi-wielding teenager.
Pico is the official mascot of Newgrounds, the largest, most established site for flash animation. They live by the tagline- "Everything By Everyone."
Whether it be time-killing shoot em' ups you seek, or profound speechless animations with mind-blowing artwork, or Cock n' Ball jokes by Tankmen, or even hentai (Sim date is currently ranked number 1 with over 16 million views), Newgrounds has got it all!
A few of the top titles worth mentioning are:
Pico
Tankmen (Created by Newgrounds founder Tom Fulp himself.)
BrackenWood (Fairytales in flash. Awesome artwork.)
Foamy's Rant and Neurotically Yours (If only we heed the advice and rantings of a very distrubed squirrel, there'd be less parents letting their babies cry and scream in restaurants, less stupid people, and no urine-sample-sized cups of StarBucks coffee being sold for 5 bucks.
Awesome (All things Awesome by the awesome voice actor Egoraptor, including Metal Gear Awesome, Awesome May Cry, and Awesome Creed.)
Retarded Animal Babies (By Dave. Like Happy Tree Friends? You will LOVE this.)
Lemon Demon (Original music videos. Includes The Ultimate Showdown.)
NotSafeForWork (Not safe for work. Includes The Ultimate Orgy. "Best. Spoof. Ever." -Tom Fulp)
Want to be a fully-fledged Newgroundling?
History of the portal
Check out Newgrounds, the Ultimate Flash Site.
Be there, or be somewhere else.
And by somewhere else I mean porn sites.
Or Britney Spears fansites.
Or animal sites.
Or Britney Spears porn sites involving animals.
And remember, anyone who hates Retarded Animal Babies is an elitist snob, with the sense of humour of a hermaphrodite version of hitler, who has his/her head stuck so far up his/her ass that he/she is in danger of choking his/her own head and causing an infinite time-loop.
Thereby causing the universe to implode on itself.
Like in RAB episode 19.
Cheers!
Wednesday, April 30, 2008
Friday, April 25, 2008
The Gustave : 101
This is brief survival guide on dealing with a Gustave. It was compiled after numerous reports of missing digits, severed appendages, and traumatised children individuals.
1. If The Gustave lets you read one of his notebooks, it means :
a) The Gustave like you.
b) He also trusts you.
c) Feel free to give him a scalp massage or gently scratch and tickle his hands and arms.
2. If the Gustave does NOT let you touch Iris, his guitar, it means :
a) He does NOT like you.
b) You should deeply reflect on your deeply flawed character.
c) You should repent and seek his forgiveness.
3. If the Gustave does NOT let you touch his stationery, it means :
a) The Gustave does NOT like you.
b) You have lost or stolen his stationery in the past.
c) You should start running in fear for your life before he decides on which stationery or nearby object to use as a weapon.
d) It is advisable to put at least 100 meters of physical distance between yourself and the Gustave while he is preoccupied.
4. If the Gustave shares his food or drinks with you, it means :
a) He likes you. Feel free to consume reasonable amounts of his food or drink.
-or-
b) He does NOT like you. In which case you should :
c) Not consume any of his food or drink because he has poisoned it.
5. If the Gustave gives you a notebook, it means :
a) The Gustave likes you.
b) You are on the list of people the Gustave would go to the depths of hell for, with nothing more than a double-barreled shotgun, a pair of magnums, a chainsaw, and an electric guitar (for those annoying rock-off encounters with Satan).
c) And maybe a flask of green tea.
*DISCLAIMER*
The Goodstuff Productions will not be held liable for any injury, death, or pregnancies caused by the use or misuse of the information above.
Rock on. Rock hard.
1. If The Gustave lets you read one of his notebooks, it means :
a) The Gustave like you.
b) He also trusts you.
c) Feel free to give him a scalp massage or gently scratch and tickle his hands and arms.
2. If the Gustave does NOT let you touch Iris, his guitar, it means :
a) He does NOT like you.
b) You should deeply reflect on your deeply flawed character.
c) You should repent and seek his forgiveness.
3. If the Gustave does NOT let you touch his stationery, it means :
a) The Gustave does NOT like you.
b) You have lost or stolen his stationery in the past.
c) You should start running in fear for your life before he decides on which stationery or nearby object to use as a weapon.
d) It is advisable to put at least 100 meters of physical distance between yourself and the Gustave while he is preoccupied.
4. If the Gustave shares his food or drinks with you, it means :
a) He likes you. Feel free to consume reasonable amounts of his food or drink.
-or-
b) He does NOT like you. In which case you should :
c) Not consume any of his food or drink because he has poisoned it.
5. If the Gustave gives you a notebook, it means :
a) The Gustave likes you.
b) You are on the list of people the Gustave would go to the depths of hell for, with nothing more than a double-barreled shotgun, a pair of magnums, a chainsaw, and an electric guitar (for those annoying rock-off encounters with Satan).
c) And maybe a flask of green tea.
*DISCLAIMER*
The Goodstuff Productions will not be held liable for any injury, death, or pregnancies caused by the use or misuse of the information above.
Rock on. Rock hard.
Thursday, April 24, 2008
Tuesday, April 15, 2008
Fruitcake
+This post was originally posted on 20 Seconds Lapse.+
This is the Gustave, reporting in.
College life is fast, hectic, and exciting.
Kind of like sex.
It may even be over before you know it.
And like sex, profound words of wisdom and acts that defy the laws of physics may even occur amidst the mind-blowing pressure and sweat.
MIND-blowing.
"Maybe some people have genetically straight pubic hair."
-Qirby, 1311, 09-04-2008.
Yes. She did say that.
No. We were in Asia Cafe enjoying roti telur bawang and puble tea.
Yes. That is spelt right...after Qirby found a "pubic" hair on the cover of her bubble tea.
No. It was not my hair. Pubic or otherwise.
And yes. Qirby made the quote of the week after I tried to convince her that pubic hair is curly.
Sarah: "You want to have Sex on The Beach?"
Gustave: "...Which beach?"
*Sarah bursts out laughing*
Gustave: "Oh right! It's a drink. Heh. Right?"
...Sometimes, during college (or sex), we reflect on the past, possibly even our high school life...
"My friend got suspended for a few weeks. I think he started a Mexican Wave in class."
-Victoria, 27-03-2008
...sometimes on the way to class in the morning we hear Chinese radio hosts trying to be the next Zen Tao Guru thing...
(translated from chinese)
"A kindergarten teacher shows her students a painting of a black dot on a sheet of white paper. She asks them what they see. They reply :'A black dot!' The teacher then says :'Class, that's the case in life. People will always focus on the bad parts of your character and miss all the good in you. It's time to look at the bigger picture of life.'"
...that actually seemed very profound and touching, taking into the account that I had about 5 hours of sleep and tend to be very groggy in the morning. But it makes perfect sense and fits as a metaphor just as an XL ribbed condom fits on 5-year-old's fist.
Ungh.
Yeah.
...what?
Fruitcake!
What if the kindergarten teacher showed them a picture of a WHITE dot on a sheet of BLACK paper?
I highly doubt that the answer would have been "A black mass engulfing a circular white spot."
A white flaggeracking spot.
That's what.
Speaking of Chinese wisdom...
"In waking a tiger, use a long stick."
-Mao Tse-Tung
Hmm.
That is definitely a war tactic.
Or practical advice for adrenaline-junkies.
Or a metaphor for sex.
Yeah. Probably a metaphor for sex.
...Aganrmas are wrods or prhaess mdae by minixg up the lterets of ohter wrods or pshraes...
The eyes
They see
Mother-in-law
Woman Hitler
Debit card
Bad credit
Astronomer
Moon starer
Desperation
A rope ends it
Election results
Lies - Let's recount
I'm sure we Malaysians can relate to the last one.
...and to cheerily top off this cherry ridden cherry fruitcake with big juicy banana...
Conversation.
VoicesRantOn.
Rock on.
Rock hard.
This is the Gustave, over and out.
This is the Gustave, reporting in.
College life is fast, hectic, and exciting.
Kind of like sex.
It may even be over before you know it.
And like sex, profound words of wisdom and acts that defy the laws of physics may even occur amidst the mind-blowing pressure and sweat.
MIND-blowing.
"Maybe some people have genetically straight pubic hair."
-Qirby, 1311, 09-04-2008.
Yes. She did say that.
No. We were in Asia Cafe enjoying roti telur bawang and puble tea.
Yes. That is spelt right...after Qirby found a "pubic" hair on the cover of her bubble tea.
No. It was not my hair. Pubic or otherwise.
And yes. Qirby made the quote of the week after I tried to convince her that pubic hair is curly.
Sarah: "You want to have Sex on The Beach?"
Gustave: "...Which beach?"
*Sarah bursts out laughing*
Gustave: "Oh right! It's a drink. Heh. Right?"
...Sometimes, during college (or sex), we reflect on the past, possibly even our high school life...
"My friend got suspended for a few weeks. I think he started a Mexican Wave in class."
-Victoria, 27-03-2008
...sometimes on the way to class in the morning we hear Chinese radio hosts trying to be the next Zen Tao Guru thing...
(translated from chinese)
"A kindergarten teacher shows her students a painting of a black dot on a sheet of white paper. She asks them what they see. They reply :'A black dot!' The teacher then says :'Class, that's the case in life. People will always focus on the bad parts of your character and miss all the good in you. It's time to look at the bigger picture of life.'"
...that actually seemed very profound and touching, taking into the account that I had about 5 hours of sleep and tend to be very groggy in the morning. But it makes perfect sense and fits as a metaphor just as an XL ribbed condom fits on 5-year-old's fist.
Ungh.
Yeah.
...what?
Fruitcake!
What if the kindergarten teacher showed them a picture of a WHITE dot on a sheet of BLACK paper?
I highly doubt that the answer would have been "A black mass engulfing a circular white spot."
A white flaggeracking spot.
That's what.
Speaking of Chinese wisdom...
"In waking a tiger, use a long stick."
-Mao Tse-Tung
Hmm.
That is definitely a war tactic.
Or practical advice for adrenaline-junkies.
Or a metaphor for sex.
Yeah. Probably a metaphor for sex.
...Aganrmas are wrods or prhaess mdae by minixg up the lterets of ohter wrods or pshraes...
The eyes
They see
Mother-in-law
Woman Hitler
Debit card
Bad credit
Astronomer
Moon starer
Desperation
A rope ends it
Election results
Lies - Let's recount
I'm sure we Malaysians can relate to the last one.
...and to cheerily top off this cherry ridden cherry fruitcake with big juicy banana...
Conversation.
VoicesRantOn.
Rock on.
Rock hard.
This is the Gustave, over and out.
The Gustave 101
This is a guide on dealing with a Gustave. It was compiled after numerous reports of missing digits, severed appendages, and traumatised children individuals.
1. If The Gustave lets you read one of his notebooks, it means that:
a)
1. If The Gustave lets you read one of his notebooks, it means that:
a)
Wednesday, April 2, 2008
Tuesday, April 1, 2008
"Quote" I
"Is be or is be not, is be one big damn puzzler."
-Managua, One Big Damn Puzzler by John Harding.
Due to the mountain of SAM coursework, The Gustave will not be coordinating a global April Fool.
And by global, he means through the World Wide Web.
And by World Wide Web, he means through his blog.
Instead, here is a strip-tease of Gustave's personal collection of quotes worth quoting, from Mexican Waves to pork!
"Heavy Metal is 1% inspiration and 99% constipation."
-Gustave Oon, 5.45 p.m, 18-03-2008.
"Welcome to SAM hell."
-Angelina Kok.
"Oh my God! Bobby doesn't sniff my pussy."
-Claire, commenting on her pet.
"Kukujiao can fly one what! Jiao mah!"
-Claire, commenting on her...pet.
"Eh, you imagine one day in Malaysia no pork! People will die leh! Especially CY!"
-Winson, 2:51 p.m, 21-3-2008.
"Give me liberty or give me death!"
-Patrick Henry, 23-3-1775.
"Give me liberty or give me RM9868 a day!"
-Gustave Oon, 25-3-2008.
"My friend got suspended for a few weeks. I think he started a Mexican Wave in class."
-Victoria
"Cheers!"
-Gustave Oon, 1-4-2008
-Managua, One Big Damn Puzzler by John Harding.
Due to the mountain of SAM coursework, The Gustave will not be coordinating a global April Fool.
And by global, he means through the World Wide Web.
And by World Wide Web, he means through his blog.
Instead, here is a strip-tease of Gustave's personal collection of quotes worth quoting, from Mexican Waves to pork!
"Heavy Metal is 1% inspiration and 99% constipation."
-Gustave Oon, 5.45 p.m, 18-03-2008.
"Welcome to SAM hell."
-Angelina Kok.
"Oh my God! Bobby doesn't sniff my pussy."
-Claire, commenting on her pet.
"Kukujiao can fly one what! Jiao mah!"
-Claire, commenting on her...pet.
"Eh, you imagine one day in Malaysia no pork! People will die leh! Especially CY!"
-Winson, 2:51 p.m, 21-3-2008.
"Give me liberty or give me death!"
-Patrick Henry, 23-3-1775.
"Give me liberty or give me RM9868 a day!"
-Gustave Oon, 25-3-2008.
"My friend got suspended for a few weeks. I think he started a Mexican Wave in class."
-Victoria
"Cheers!"
-Gustave Oon, 1-4-2008
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