In other news...

Monday, December 24, 2007

Orange box fun.

Garry's mod + Team Fortress 2 =








Awww...don't they look all happy together...the cake is a lie.
The cake is a lie.
The cake is a lie.
The cake is a lie.

Friday, December 21, 2007

Merry Christmas!

In the spirit of giving, forgiving, condemning the heathen-satan-possessed-demonic-immoral-demons-hell-bent-on-sieging-the-gates-of-heaven to hell, hunting down human beings based on their sexual preference, and cookies.


This inspirational, uplifting video is brought to you by The Westboro Baptist Church (that “God Hates Fags” crew from the heart of Jesusland USA)

http://view.break.com/278059 - Watch more free videos


I don't ask you what you do with your genitalia.

Such a pity though. Some of those church chicks were actually pretty hot.

Thursday, December 20, 2007

Gigabite.

If you are one of my loyal readers, you will know all about the mini-series that I create, their ridiculously short lifespan and their laughable numbers.

From the creator of My Life On Earth As A Dog, The Gustave's opinion, etc. comes a new series, Gigabite.

Yes, it comes from the idea I had as a 10 year old deciding to call myself gigabolt_7.

Gigabite
After extreme, intense, 10 SPS (Scratches per second), non-stop, ear-scratching on Spike the English Cocker Spaniel, Gustave has discovered that dogs can smile. Or at least, small furry dogs with a ear-scratching fetish.


It was hilarious but deeply disturbing.

Seriously now.

We used to perceive dogs as the happy go lucky, dumb, creatures that they seem to be. And then suddenly, HOLY SHIT, THE BUGGER SMILES?

Have you ever seen a fish smile?
How about a bird?
Or a rat?

Monkeys smile when they are in extreme fear.

Why the heck did my dog smile? What twisted thought was going on in that furry little head of his? Jeeeez.

Phew.

Maybe he was just happy. Ah well. We may never know.


Gustave has also got himself a role in an upcoming TV9 series. Gustave plays GUS, the nerd who is weak in English and is shy when interacting with members of the opposite sex.


Gustave's BBgun with a calibrated laser sight is broken. A part of the trigger snapped. Argh, tis' be a sad day, lad.


The chainsaw is a bad weapon to wield when facing hordes of the living dead.

Its heavier than alternative dismembering weapons such as a machete. You will wear yourself out.
It uses fuel, therefore having finite ammo.
Its noisy. Attracting the full wrath of mall full of zombie christmas shoppers is a bad idea. No matter how big your chainsaw makes you feel.
Its messy. Do you really intend to send chunks of infectious flesh and body fluids flying in your direction?

Zombies are created by the virus Solanum.
Solanum mutates the human brain into an organ that is not dependent on oxygen.

This information is brought to you by the Zombie survival guide.

!Remember!
Lesson #2 : Zombies don't feel fear, why should you?


Gustave has given up drinking plain water after discovering the wonder of Japanese green tea.
NOT Chinese "green" tea. Lu Cha. Lu my balls. Its BROWN. Fucking BROWN.

Colour blindness is a condition where a human being cannot perceive certain colours or perceives different colours as the same. Common colours include Green/Red and Green/Brown.

Hence, by that logic, the entire Chinese population until a few generations back is fucking colour blind.

Chinese "green" tea "dries" up the throat with its rennin or something. It makes your voice croaky. Plus 4 out of 5 dentists recommend Chinese "green" tea due to its acidic, and hence money-generating, property.

Stick to Japanese green tea.
...because anime is cool.

Cheers!

Sunday, December 16, 2007

Attention Team Fortress 2 players.

This is Saving Private Ryan, TF2 style.

Press stop on the mp3 player on the bottom to avoid any interruptions.





Who needs counter-strike?

2 a.m.

The night was dark and stuff. And I am glad I stayed up late.

Denise came online.

Hey kids, you know what's an asswipe thing to do? Get all the help you can from someone, suck em dry, then leave em out in the sun to dry and hang like used condoms. Yup. So kids, what do you do if you have friends like that? Yes, that's right, Jimmy, you can write a song about it and go on to make millions in record sales and concerts. Stephen Lynch is a good example. No, Johnny, no. You do not "make them feel your pain with sharp stationary objects". Faber Castell or otherwise.

Alright kids, be cool, stay in school. And don't do drugs!

Boink.

The night was dark and stuff. And there was a loud 'Boink'.


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Never give out your password or credit card number in an instant message conversation.

G ϋ Z Ŧ λ VΣ, likes walking home in the rain. says:
OI.
G ϋ Z Ŧ λ VΣ, likes walking home in the rain. says:
Better be there for Marvin's play this friday
G ϋ Z Ŧ λ VΣ, likes walking home in the rain. says:
if not i dun fren you anymore arh!
G ϋ Z Ŧ λ VΣ, likes walking home in the rain. says:
tasha....?
G ϋ Z Ŧ λ VΣ, likes walking home in the rain. says:
Oh, tasha....
G ϋ Z Ŧ λ VΣ, likes walking home in the rain. says:
natasha
G ϋ Z Ŧ λ VΣ, likes walking home in the rain. says:
nananananaabananabananabananatasha!
Princess Consuela Banana Hammock says:
i'll meet you at the front entrance
Princess Consuela Banana Hammock says:

G ϋ Z Ŧ λ VΣ, likes walking home in the rain. says:
YAY!
G ϋ Z Ŧ λ VΣ, likes walking home in the rain. says:
you're there!
G ϋ Z Ŧ λ VΣ, likes walking home in the rain. says:
kk
G ϋ Z Ŧ λ VΣ, likes walking home in the rain. says:
so
G ϋ Z Ŧ λ VΣ, likes walking home in the rain. says:
see
G ϋ Z Ŧ λ VΣ, likes walking home in the rain. says:
i went surfing in Bali
G ϋ Z Ŧ λ VΣ, likes walking home in the rain. says:
well
Princess Consuela Banana Hammock says:
no way!
G ϋ Z Ŧ λ VΣ, likes walking home in the rain. says:
surfing lesson anyway
G ϋ Z Ŧ λ VΣ, likes walking home in the rain. says:
full day
G ϋ Z Ŧ λ VΣ, likes walking home in the rain. says:
so in the morning
Princess Consuela Banana Hammock says:
you're like surfer dude now?
G ϋ Z Ŧ λ VΣ, likes walking home in the rain. says:
YEEEEAAAAh
G ϋ Z Ŧ λ VΣ, likes walking home in the rain. says:
back of hands and face got sun burned
G ϋ Z Ŧ λ VΣ, likes walking home in the rain. says:
see
G ϋ Z Ŧ λ VΣ, likes walking home in the rain. says:
my morning class
G ϋ Z Ŧ λ VΣ, likes walking home in the rain. says:
there were these 2 fat white people
G ϋ Z Ŧ λ VΣ, likes walking home in the rain. says:
a nice couple la
G ϋ Z Ŧ λ VΣ, likes walking home in the rain. says:
AND THEY SUCKED!
G ϋ Z Ŧ λ VΣ, likes walking home in the rain. says:
MUAHAHAHAHAAHAHAH!
G ϋ Z Ŧ λ VΣ, likes walking home in the rain. says:
God put em there in the moring to make me look HEBAT!
G ϋ Z Ŧ λ VΣ, likes walking home in the rain. says:
...unfortunately He also placed a sexy female instructor who was local but tanned to nigger shade who was also NOT teaching me.
G ϋ Z Ŧ λ VΣ, likes walking home in the rain. says:
damn.
G ϋ Z Ŧ λ VΣ, likes walking home in the rain. says:
BUT
G ϋ Z Ŧ λ VΣ, likes walking home in the rain. says:
after the morning session
G ϋ Z Ŧ λ VΣ, likes walking home in the rain. says:
i was tired
G ϋ Z Ŧ λ VΣ, likes walking home in the rain. says:
THEN
Princess Consuela Banana Hammock says:
LOL
G ϋ Z Ŧ λ VΣ, likes walking home in the rain. says:
i saw these 2 korean chicks
G ϋ Z Ŧ λ VΣ, likes walking home in the rain. says:
hoho
G ϋ Z Ŧ λ VΣ, likes walking home in the rain. says:
its their first lesson
G ϋ Z Ŧ λ VΣ, likes walking home in the rain. says:
so
G ϋ Z Ŧ λ VΣ, likes walking home in the rain. says:
i looked UBER compared to them
G ϋ Z Ŧ λ VΣ, likes walking home in the rain. says:
then
Princess Consuela Banana Hammock says:
LOL
G ϋ Z Ŧ λ VΣ, likes walking home in the rain. says:
totally blown away and amazed by my R0Ckz0r-ness
G ϋ Z Ŧ λ VΣ, likes walking home in the rain. says:
...and also due to the fact that we were all pissed tired and restingon the beach...
G ϋ Z Ŧ λ VΣ, likes walking home in the rain. says:
...heh ...
G ϋ Z Ŧ λ VΣ, likes walking home in the rain. says:
...the swimming instructor gatal a bit
G ϋ Z Ŧ λ VΣ, likes walking home in the rain. says:
went and kacau them by sprinkling snad unto their toes
G ϋ Z Ŧ λ VΣ, likes walking home in the rain. says:
...PFFFFFFTT...eleh...indonesians...
G ϋ Z Ŧ λ VΣ, likes walking home in the rain. says:
...By the sheer Hotness of my presence...
Princess Consuela Banana Hammock says:
lol
G ϋ Z Ŧ λ VΣ, likes walking home in the rain. says:
A fresh jasmine flower fell one feet away from me
G ϋ Z Ŧ λ VΣ, likes walking home in the rain. says:
away from their field of sight
Princess Consuela Banana Hammock says:
you do live in your own little world don't you?
Princess Consuela Banana Hammock says:
lol
G ϋ Z Ŧ λ VΣ, likes walking home in the rain. says:
i picked it up and dropped it on one of their feet
G ϋ Z Ŧ λ VΣ, likes walking home in the rain. says:
shush!
G ϋ Z Ŧ λ VΣ, likes walking home in the rain. says:
and she saw it, picked it up, whispered something into the ear of the other girl and they both giggled!
G ϋ Z Ŧ λ VΣ, likes walking home in the rain. says:
giggled like the little love-struck girls they were, under my HotShitness 10 on a scale of 5-ness
G ϋ Z Ŧ λ VΣ, likes walking home in the rain. says:
I found out that they were 27 year old bankers
G ϋ Z Ŧ λ VΣ, likes walking home in the rain. says:
who speak good english!
G ϋ Z Ŧ λ VΣ, likes walking home in the rain. says:
and they giggled somemore when they asked me with red cheeks..
G ϋ Z Ŧ λ VΣ, likes walking home in the rain. says:
...caused by sunburn of course...not my obvious Hotness...
G ϋ Z Ŧ λ VΣ, likes walking home in the rain. says:
...they found out that this above-averagely heighted, dark, angular young man was only 17 years old!
G ϋ Z Ŧ λ VΣ, likes walking home in the rain. says:
W-ah! Aku Hebat!
G ϋ Z Ŧ λ VΣ, likes walking home in the rain. says:
Then, after soaking in the pool, after convincing them to jump in in their intricate made in China swimsuits..
Princess Consuela Banana Hammock says:
at making up random stories
Princess Consuela Banana Hammock says:
lol
G ϋ Z Ŧ λ VΣ, likes walking home in the rain. says:
Eleh!
G ϋ Z Ŧ λ VΣ, likes walking home in the rain. says:

G ϋ Z Ŧ λ VΣ, likes walking home in the rain. says:
we took showers in SEPERATE rooms
G ϋ Z Ŧ λ VΣ, likes walking home in the rain. says:
they MAY have hinted, heh, that they wanted to join me, but knowing me, and my integrity, i refused.
G ϋ Z Ŧ λ VΣ, likes walking home in the rain. says:
i asked over the walls for shampoo, but they ignored me...
G ϋ Z Ŧ λ VΣ, likes walking home in the rain. says:
...possibly due to the fact that they were high and fantasising about being naked and showering in the same room as me, seperated only by a 10 foot wall.
G ϋ Z Ŧ λ VΣ, likes walking home in the rain. says:
We got dressed.
Princess Consuela Banana Hammock says:
the point of this conversation is..?
G ϋ Z Ŧ λ VΣ, likes walking home in the rain. says:
and i asked for their contacts
G ϋ Z Ŧ λ VΣ, likes walking home in the rain. says:
they gave me their business cards
G ϋ Z Ŧ λ VΣ, likes walking home in the rain. says:
Wah!
Princess Consuela Banana Hammock says:
lol
G ϋ Z Ŧ λ VΣ, likes walking home in the rain. says:
and scribbled their yahoo messenger on the side
G ϋ Z Ŧ λ VΣ, likes walking home in the rain. says:
they left their pen with me
Princess Consuela Banana Hammock says:
*raised eyebrow*
G ϋ Z Ŧ λ VΣ, likes walking home in the rain. says:
...and knowing the fetishes and what is possible with a pervert and a sharp stationary objects belonging to young, attractive, available, female Korean bankers...
G ϋ Z Ŧ λ VΣ, likes walking home in the rain. says:
I, being The Gustave, the representation and symbol of all that is Good and Uber...
G ϋ Z Ŧ λ VΣ, likes walking home in the rain. says:
...returned the pen to them.
G ϋ Z Ŧ λ VΣ, likes walking home in the rain. says:
Wah!
G ϋ Z Ŧ λ VΣ, likes walking home in the rain. says:
Goosebumps, yeah?
G ϋ Z Ŧ λ VΣ, likes walking home in the rain. says:

Princess Consuela Banana Hammock says:
want to barf
Princess Consuela Banana Hammock says:
and laugh
G ϋ Z Ŧ λ VΣ, likes walking home in the rain. says:
Wah!
Princess Consuela Banana Hammock says:
but yea..goosebumps
G ϋ Z Ŧ λ VΣ, likes walking home in the rain. says:
See? I am capable of 'Evoking strong emotional reactions"
G ϋ Z Ŧ λ VΣ, likes walking home in the rain. says:
Wah!
G ϋ Z Ŧ λ VΣ, likes walking home in the rain. says:
anyway
Princess Consuela Banana Hammock says:
LOL
G ϋ Z Ŧ λ VΣ, likes walking home in the rain. says:
that story was completely true...
G ϋ Z Ŧ λ VΣ, likes walking home in the rain. says:
...althogh certain fact MAY have been POSSIBLY exegerated.
G ϋ Z Ŧ λ VΣ, likes walking home in the rain. says:
Heh.
G ϋ Z Ŧ λ VΣ, likes walking home in the rain. says:

Princess Consuela Banana Hammock says:
LOL
G ϋ Z Ŧ λ VΣ, likes walking home in the rain. says:
I'm saving this conversation in case the future one true religion wants to use this as an inspirational scripture.
G ϋ Z Ŧ λ VΣ, likes walking home in the rain. says:
Maybe I'll even post it up on my new blog
G ϋ Z Ŧ λ VΣ, likes walking home in the rain. says:
TheNightWasDarkAndStuff.blogpot.com
Princess Consuela Banana Hammock says:
LOL
G ϋ Z Ŧ λ VΣ, likes walking home in the rain. says:

Princess Consuela Banana Hammock says:
NO WAY1
Princess Consuela Banana Hammock says:
you got blogger
G ϋ Z Ŧ λ VΣ, likes walking home in the rain. says:
Finally.
G ϋ Z Ŧ λ VΣ, likes walking home in the rain. says:
Crap!
G ϋ Z Ŧ λ VΣ, likes walking home in the rain. says:
This thing doesn't do emoticons!
G ϋ Z Ŧ λ VΣ, likes walking home in the rain. says:
ARGH!








-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The Night Was Dark And Stuff

In the night.

The dark, dark, night.

It was dark.

Ideas form, true character reveals itself.

Mosquitoes start biting.

The mind reaches a state which can only be described as "The Zone".

Hunger is not a factor. Sleep is of no importance. Thirst is kept at bay.

In the night.

The dark, dark, oh so dark night.

Well.

Um.

The night was dark and stuff.